Thanksgiving 2008

Thanksgiving is the day of gratitude. So I figure I would spend some moments of solitude to list and appreciate.

Friends - for being there for me in times of need.

Family - for bringing me to this world full of sufferings and joys.

A Certain Someone - for giving me a memory that is actually worth to reminisce.

Yellow Fever - for providing such an opportunity for me to kick ass.

Midnight Rave - for just being an awesome group of friends and partners in crime

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hopefully you guys are pumped for what's to come ^_^ ( Black Friday of course!!!)

Current Music Project

So it has been awhile since I touched the piano. Well, not really awhile since I touched the keyboard in order to record the keyboard portion of a piece into the TAF song that we have been working on. But it has been awhile since I sit down and play the piano for the pure leisure of it.

I have to say, i am simply surprised at the change of attitude toward music at this point of my life. I first started piano as young kid because my mom simply forced me to learn it. Defiantly, I did learn it, and learned it rather well. I was only one degree shy from obtaining my teacher's license. But that was awhile ago. Right now, for some reason, I return to the instrument and play it with curiosity as well as passion. Maybe it is because I am much more mature now, I am able to appreciate the melody and the symphony of keys.

Since Thanksgiving break is coming up very soon, I am hoping that I will be able to learn this song from D. Gray Man:



It is a beautifully written music. I don't know why I like this song, but I feel like the atmosphere and mood set by this piece is accurately describing and expressing my current emotions. Hence, I am determined to learn this piece, and hopefully have it memorized by the end of this weekend. Hope all goes well. I would really love to play this song ^_^

Now and Then

So it has been awhile since i write posts. Really, life really can't get much worse than it already is. Really hard on me both physically and emotionally. It's almost as if God designed this life full of painful experiences just so he can continue to torture me. I really wish I can just take on all the pain physically rather than emotionally, because I feel like my mind is about to shatter like a piece of worthless glass.

So Hinsdale Central's football team somehow dominated Mt. Carmel by 3 points and is advancing to state final at U of I next week. I guess that's one thing to be proud of as a current student of Hinsdale Central.

I would really like to know a way to subside or erase my memory. Really, I would rather not remember anything than remembering my life at the moment. In fact, I am so disoriented by the emotional torture that I just realized this paragraph that I am writing is located in the wrong location in this post...ahahahaha whatever. I don't usually write the blog post formally unless it's something of importance =P

I can only pray that life will improve. And I sincerely hope for it.

My Philosophy Paper

So This paper took me a lot of thoughts and time. So I decided that it's worth being put up here. So here it is!
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Anselm’s Ontological Argument: the Attempted Failure

Religion, the service and worship of God or the supernatural, has bring forth an ongoing controversy between those who places their faith in God and those who believes in numbers and data. The valid and convincing evidences and logics from both sides clash over and over again with no conclusion to this endless war of contradiction of human perceptions. However, the religious side seems to be fighting a losing battle due to the lack of physical evidence. Thus, the only way to prove the existence of God for us mortals is through the examination of the concept of God itself. This is called the ontological argument, an argument from the nature of God to the existence of God.

St. Anselm, the archbishop of Canterbury, attempted to prove the existence of God through his ontological argument. It is as follows:


1) God, by definition, is the greatest being possible.

2) If God exists only in our minds, then it is possible for there to be a being greater than God, namely, a being like God that exists in reality.

3) But it is not possible for there to be a being greater than God.

4) Therefore God must exist in reality.


A being that exists in mind cannot be greater than a being that exists in reality. So if God existed only in our minds, it would be possible for there to be a being greater than God, namely a being like God, to exist in reality. Although this argument is valid on the surface, the majority of the people find this very hard to accept. The mere thought of defining something into existence is simply unconvincing and absurd, and I agree.

The second step of his ontological process is the root of his failure. If God exists only in our minds, then everything that exists around us in reality is greater than the God in our mind. If everything that exists in reality go through a series of comparison and ultimately are arranged in order from the least to the greatest being that exists, the last item to be implemented to the series will be the greatest being possible in reality. But as we all know, nothing that exists in this physical world is perfect. And having something that exists in reality labeled as “God” is contradicting because “God”, by definition, is perfect; while the physical being is not.

Guanilo, a contemporary of Anselm, shared the critical view of the majority and created a thought experiment known as Guanilo’s Lost Island to demonstrate the shortcomings of Anselm’s ontological argument. His thought experiment directly attacked Anselm’s logic. The greatest island, by definition, would have the best ideal climate possible. However, according to Anselm’s logic, if such island did not exist, then it would not be the greatest island possible. So, by similar reasoning, it would seem that the greatest island possible must exist.

Of course, Anselm was aware of such loophole in his argument and attempted to amend it by claiming that his argument applied only to the scenario of the greatest being possible. However, such attempt did not help his argument. Rather, it helped digging its own grave. If the existence is intrinsic to God because it makes him better, it is hard to see why it could not be intrinsic to other things as well.

What went wrong with Anselm’s argument? The problem lies within the concept of “exists only in the understanding.” To simplify the matter, let x represents something that exists only in the mind. To say that x exists only in the mind is to say that the concept of x does not apply to anything in reality. Similarly, to say that God exists only in the mind is to say that the concept of God does not apply to anything in reality. There is no contradiction involved in saying that the concept of the greatest being possible is not exemplified. Therefore, Anselm’s attempt fails to prove the existence of God.

Immanuel Kant, an eighteenth-century philosopher, bashed the whole method which Anselm pursued. Kant reasoned that existence is not an attribute of an object like temperature, size, and the like. According to him, existence is not “something that can simply be associated with the definition of an object”. To further amplify his argument, he gave the example of a “quircle”. It is given information that a quircle is a circle that exists. Just from this, it seems impossible for us to reach any other conclusion other than that a “quircle” exists, for the definition told us it does exist. However, any intelligent mind in the world would agree that this is obviously not a good reason to believe, for we could prove that anything exists by utilizing this method. Thus, Anselm’s method of pursuing the truth is a failure.

With all due respect, I personally do not find Anselm’s ontological attempt very convincing. Not only do I not agree with his method of choice, but I also do not find his logic sound and valid. Just like the causal theory of the physical, which states that everything that happens can be explained in purely physical terms, it is hard for me to believe that something like God can be defined by anything outside of realm of God. Anselm’s ontological attempt not only utilized the wrong approach in to prove his belief, his logic is also full of flaws and contradictions. Therefore, Anselm’s ontological argument is nothing but a failure.

Game Review #3 - Flyff

I have to say, I really don't know if I know enough for this game to really write an accurate review for it. This is probably the only mmorpg that I could not play for more than a few weeks. This game's graphics is not as amazing as the other mmorpgs that I have reviewed. However, this game does have its decency and I believe it deserves some praises.

To be honest, when I first started out this game, it was extremely confusing to get what you are going to do next. I figured it out after about an hour of aimless exploring. But once you get the basic gist of things, it will eventually smooth things out by itself. Really.

So to begin, everyone is a vagrant. Vagrant is the beginner class that everyone starts out with and can be promoted to various diversity later on in game. It is strongly suggested to not invest any skill points as a vagrant because you can pass this stage relatively easy without them. At lvl 15, a vagrant can do a promotion quest to become one of the four other intermediate classes: acrobat, assist, magician, and mercenary. At lvl 60, these each of these four classes get to choose between one of the two branches of these professions. Acrobats have the choice of becoming either a jester or a ranger; assist have the choice of becoming either a billposter or a ringmaster; magicians have the choice of becoming either an elementor or a psykeeper; and mercenaries have the choice of becoming either a knight or a blade.

I myself only played up to level 40. So I can't really know I know a lot about the game. Leveling in this game isn't as bad. If you grind for an hour or two a day with efficiency, it will only take about a month or two to reach level 60 and be promoted to your end-game profession. However, rumor has it that soon there will be a third promotion. Honestly, I don't see myself grind that much...maximum level in this game is 120. With a new promotion available...gahhh it gives me the chill just to think about it >.<

The skill system is very straight forward. I do recommend not to max a skill too early in the game because the mana cost of that skill will be far too great for a low level character to use the skill efficiently. Yes, I learned this the hard way.

It's quite simple to make money in this game. All you do is kill, pick up monster drops, and sell. Sometimes you may get lucky and obtain some nice items. In that case, as for every mmorpg, you can put it on a market system and hope someone buys it with your desired price.

One thing I do really like about this game is the pet system. Pet is an expensive and time-consuming yet worthwhile investment in this game. All pets will start out at level 0 and in egg form. It can only evolve from the egg form if the owner feeds it with pet food until its percentage reaches 100%. The pet you will get is completely random, thus, adding some an element of surprise. Regardless of the grade of the pet you get, once it evolves to its 2nd form at lvl 60, it will become a powerful ally and a wonderful companion in your journey.

I don't know if it's the graphics that makes me lose the interest of the game, was I don't like the game mechanics. The game graphics, although somewhat childish, offer some really interesting way of expression. I rather like its style, but it's just not giving me the impression that I wanted when I play a mmorpg. However, the community of this game is full of nice people and they are all willing to go out their ways and help you out.

I will try a new evaluation system from now on. 0-5 stars, 5 being the bets and 0 being the worst.

Rating: ***
Really a nice game if 2.5D graphics is what you are looking for. But the pvp system and the amount of time it requires for this game is simply driving me nuts.

Grinding: **
Personally, I really can't stand the grinding in this game. Just me personally.

Fun: ***
It is really fun to grind with a friend. No, it really is.

Field Trip for AP World Lit

Being an avid student who has enrolls mostly honor or AP classes since freshman year, my opportunity to be included on a field trip is minimal. Hence, I was extremely excited to be on this field trip today. It is my first field trip in three years!! Sounds like blasphemy, I know, but it is true!

Anyways, AP World Lit and AP British Lit traveled to the vicinity of Navy Peer via three buses. Being told to bring my Nintendo DS, Ali Arfeen and I took the liberty to hone our RTS strategy by playing Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings. Although we paid the consequences physically through our back pain for the rest of the day, It was definitely worth the suffering.

The play we saw today, contrary to what you may have guessed, is not part of the Shakespeare Production. Rather, it is by Peter Shaffer. Amadeus is the name. Being loosely based on the lives of the composers Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Antonio Salieri. Amadeus was inspired by Mozart and Salieri, a short play by Aleksandr Pushkin and later adapted into an opera of the same name by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. Shaffer then adapted the play for a film released in 1984.

I was quite surprised but pleased by the appropriate usage of foul language. Through some actions that is completely out of the league of the field known as common sense, the actors vividly brought laughters and smiles in the atmosphere and successfully kept our attention throughout the entire play. Which, if I may say, is an extraordinary feat. I strongly recommend this play to anyone because the play itself definitely made the field trip completely worth it.

On the downside, we didn't get to stay outside in Navy Peer for too long because the play itself is about a little over three hours. With that said, that left us about 15 min to walk around Navy Peer under the beautiful sky and fantastic wind after we ate our food with much haste. Nonetheless, it is quite nice to take a day off from school and enjoy ourselves. I feel refreshed and ready to roll once again for the hard days ahead ^_^

Really, Why Do I Deserve This?

So my mood just reached its rock bottom once again. But really, nowadays nothing good is happening at all. In its place, a series of unfortunate events constantly take its toll on me. I feel like I am going insane and I don't know how long I will be able to keep my sanity in check. I need nationals to arrive sooner. I need a way to unleash all these bullshit of life, and nationals seems to be the best way to do it since I usually don't get to participate in a match nowadays due to the fact that my team usually wins before it's my turn. Beside, there is someone I must personally kill with my own hands, for the sake of my friend, my mom, and for myself.

Reminiscence

So, a quarter of my last year in Hinsdale Central is done. Just yesterday I received my report card. To my dismay, this is the first time in all my years in high school that i finally broke the curse of 5.4 gpa. This quarter I received a gpa of 5.6. I do feel quite accomplished, yet at the same time it seems like the grades I obtained are meaningless. With most of my college applications submitted, I find school work almost next to pointless. But because it already is an established routine, I continue to work and study as if I am a freshman all over again.

A lot has happened in this past quarter. First of all, with unbelievable diligence, I finished most of my college applications. All that are left are two or three schools which my aunt and uncle want me to submit against my personal will. But I have until...January? But really I will probably just take my sweet time. Honestly, I just want to go to UIUC because I know I can blend in there quite nicely. However, I also want to go to a college where I can have a fresh start. So even if I do get into UIUC, I may give it a second thought.

With that said, I am slowly shifting my focus back to my school work. Senior year's workload is surprisingly light compare to that of junior year. Maybe because of AP US...which took like 90% of my work time...but hey, at least I get to be the bitch and asked the teacher to curve my 98% to a 99% semester grade just so I can see that + sign on my report card...o ya...I definitely take my liberty to do so..and it worked ^_^

As my friends and I slowly conclude our college application process, we are finally getting together to formulate a routine for the variety show. As many of you might have known already, there is a tryout for the show. So, even though the show itself is happening toward the end of January next year, we must have a solid routine by the end of November so we can have time to perfect it for the coming up tryout. As of now, we are pretty screwed. We still need to teach the basic footworks and steps to most of the members. We haven't even decide on the music which we are going to use yet! Man...this is the one time which procrastination is my sworn enemy...Ah well, I hope this can be done very soon too.

With days of despair in search for my own entertainment until Starcraft 2 is released, I heard a great news! RF Online is coming back, sponsored directly by CCR! The game will be back 3 days before the result of my UIUC application is announced!! I really can't wait! It has been awhile since I touched any real time strategy genre games. I remembered the good old days when I was a general in an ancient clan known as Clan K9 in its Starcraft and Diablo II branches...ah..good old days. Only the good days during middle school was I able to play it as much as my heart desires. I wonder if I will be able to recall the me back when I was ranked 9th in U.S. West Ladder in Starcraft when I start to play Starcraft II. Man, I can feel the blood boiling in my veins ^_^

So much has happened. And I really don't know what to make out of it. With nationals approaching as well, I am getting very nervous. I still have so much I want to amend in my life. With the limited amount of time I have left, I really don't know what to do to maximize it. In a sense, I am wasting my time right now to write this blog post. But I feel like this has to be done. This is the only place where I can speak out my thoughts without fear or restriction. I plan to continue to post blog posts every day during the nationals. I can only pray that all ends well....may God help me amend the scar in my heart.